Hopes and fears

Frank, Melissa, and I had an enjoyable family night for a change. The next day was Saturday. I woke up to dishes rattling and laughter coming from the kitchen. I smiled contentedly. I got up and went into the kitchen to see Frank on the floor with Melissa on his back. “Mama, daddy horsie” Melissa gleefully shouted at me.

The phone rang, it was for Frank. When he came back from the phone he told me the guys were coming over to party that night. Oh great! I had hopes. I asked Frank if we could do something together as a family. He said he didn’t feel like going out. I called Linda. Sybil was trying to walk. She said I should come over to her house.

I got Melissa ready and sat her in the stroller. I told Frank we were leaving, but he was engrossed in his depressive state, with his pot, his beer and his guitar.

He seemed to be more depressed than not. I kissed him good bye and I don’t think he noticed really. Sigh! I pushed Melissa in her stroller over to Linda’s. It was only a few blocks away. It was a nice day. Grass was green, flowers were colorful, druggies were inside there crack houses. Oh boy!

The neighborhood was mixed like mine. Linda and Jack lived in a house. It was older, but well kept. Linda answered the door with Sybil in her arms. Sybil was smiling and held out her arms for me to take her. She had beautiful black curls, laughing dark brown eyes and she was a little chubby sweetheart. Melissa loved her, and so did I.

Linda made sandwiches for us for lunch, coffee and creme cakes. I asked where Jack was and I heard him before I saw him. He came in from the backyard laughing and he picked Linda up swung her around and kissed her. I have to admit that I was kind of jealous. Jack was a different man than the last time I saw him in the dream time. He was relaxed and happy. He had accepted and embraced his gifts. Tip had really done an excellent job.

After lunch we had coffee in the living room. Melissa played with Sybil in her playpen. The girls were having a wonderful time together. Jack asked me how I was feeling. I was almost 6 months along. Getting big and uncomfortable. He asked me if he could place his hand on my stomach and read my baby. I looked at him amazed. Linda said he was really quite good at it. I agreed.

I didn’t know what to expect. Reading unborns was new. At least to me. Jack placed his hands on my belly and I felt a great deal of warmth. It felt really good. I could feel my baby moving and turning. Jack was smiling. He seemed so at ease with this. Finally he said, “He’s a fine big boy. He is sensitive and easy going, very sweet and loving. He is healthy in the womb, I can see a few concerns as a toddler. An issue with his breathing. Not serious if taken care of. ”

Wow! This was awesome. I could feel he was right on all counts. Linda smiled and said that Jack read Sybil and he was right about everything.  Jack and Linda seemed so happy together.   I sighed.  I was wondering if Frank and I would ever really be happy together.  I got Melissa ready and we went home. I decided to talk to Frank about getting me a used car. I liked walking, but sometimes I  needed to drive, to pick up things not with in walking distance.

When I walked in the door, Franks friends were there and they were cooking hamburgers on the stove and french fries in the oven, they were also all drunk and high and were making a big mess.  I blew up!  “Frank Balke I am getting sick and tired of cleaning up your messes. You are going to clean this up or it will sit here until the cows come home!”  Guess this was not a good time to talk about cars.  Uh huh! Uh uh!

My kitties were huddled in the bedroom. The men in the kitchen were making a lot of noise and scaring them.  The newest baby was hiding in my house shoe. The only thing visible was her tail.  I picked her up gently and Clemmie came rushing over to see if she was ok. She was crying and scared. I felt terrible that I kind of forgot about her. I hadn’t even named her yet. I went into the kitchen and got her some warm food. I sat in the rocking chair with her and fed her.

She relaxed and purred as she ate.  I asked all the kitties what was a good name for her and I asked what she wanted her name to be. Clemmie suggested Callie,  Kittie, this from Melissa. I had an idea. “How about Pearl!  She’s as pretty as a pearl!”   I asked her if she liked Pearl. She hiccuped once, smiled and fell asleep. I put baby Pearl in bed with Clemmie, who proceeded to wash her head to tail. Pearl slept blissfully through it all.

Melissa fell asleep on the bed next to me. I woke her up long enough to change her into her jams and put her in her little bed, which was close to mine. The party in the kitchen had moved into the living room. I watched tv  for a while, ventured into the kitchen for a sandwich. I ignored the mess and went back to bed.  I had no intention of cleaning it up. I fell asleep watching tv.

I was dreaming!   I was back in the forest. I went over to the gazebo and settled into wait. There she was  in all her majestic beauty. She smiled at me and asked if I would like an adventure before we started our lessons. I wasn’t sure what she meant but sure, I was game. She told me to hop on her back and hold on to her mane. She laughed and said she was sorry. She forgot I was pregnant. Before I could blink or say another word I was astride her back. I had never felt anything as soft as her long silky white fur.  She looked back at me with mischief in her eyes and said, “Hold on tight now!”

She leaped over the gazebo rail and flew, yes, flew into the sky. We passed by those beautiful animal clouds and I thought they looked like cotton candy.  Up, up, we went high into the sky. This was incredible. We continued to climb into the black as night sky!

I gasped for breath as we passed stars that burned like fire. ” hold on to my mane, and stop worrying about falling! Open your eyes and enjoy!” I could hear her tinkling laughter. I decided to trust her. I looked around. There was the milky way. Glowing brightly with stars lit up from inside. I could see Mars as we passed by, way too close in my opinion. The red planet was incredibly beautiful.

Celeste called out to me, “look down!” The earth was below me and it shown in the darkness of the universe. The blue of the water that covers most of the surface. I had a lump in my throat and yes a tear in my eye as I looked at the beautiful planet I inhabited.  We started to climb again and Celeste pointed out black holes.  They were swirling, some fast and some quite slowly. I wondered what would happen if we fell in. Would we come out in a different universe?  Would there be an earth?   We didn’t get close to the sun. I was grateful for that. Celeste flew slowly and I lost my fear as I gaped at the beauty and majesty of our universe. Finally she began to descend. She smiled at me and said  “Enough for tonight!”

I was awake in my bed with stars and planets  swirling around in my head. I lay there and thought about the universe in all it’s glory and the human race and how fragile I felt last night.  I got up and cleaned the kitchen and made coffee.  I fed Pearl and little mama Clemmie watched over her.  I made breakfast for all of us and thought about my life. Did I love Frank?  Yes, I did. maybe not earth shaking love, but slow and steady love. The kind that mattered the most to me. I sat down to wait for my love to awaken.


Dreamers never give up.


The Kitties Korner.

Hello there. My name is Magic. I am a spirit cat.  I’ve been with mama for a long time. I don’t remember how long.  Mama said I could talk this time. All the solid kitties talked. I wanted to. Anu said no, she don’t want to talk. I got hit by a car right before I met mama.  I was laying in the street and then I was standing up. I thought it was like Magic, so that’s what I said my name was.  I saw how to cross over and a spirit kitty waiting for me, but I felt like I needed to stay here.  I knew I needed to stay with mama and help her. She needs a lot of help!



About cattmysticwomon

I am an animal communicator. I talk to animals here and in spirit. I am a spiritualist minister and I am psychic and very intuitive. Animals are very much part of my spirit soul as well as my everyday life. I believe animals are Gods angels sent here to be our guides and helpers through out our lives.
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