I was depressed. I called Paul, to ask how Pam was. He sounded unconcerned when he told me Pam had been admitted to the mental health ward of the hospital. He gave me her room number. I could hear Heather crying, so he had a good excuse to hang up.
I hung up and called Judi. It was her turn to have our luncheon at her place. We decided on the following Wednesday. I called Linda to see if it was a good day for her. She said it was fine and suggested we call Pam so we could all talk to her.
Wednesday was a nice day weather wise. Melissa was mad at Sybil for snitching on her and getting them expelled from preschool. Sybil cried and apologized and they were friends again. Life is so hard at that age, yet can be so easy to resolve your problems. If only….
On the bright side, we had barbecue, coleslaw and the good buns and cake from our favorite bakery. Little Jenny ate so much she got sick. Coleslaw was her favorite food. She said this with it all over her face. She was a chubby little version of her mom. She is so cute!
After clean up, with the girls playing quietly in the bedroom, we gathered around the phone and I called the hospital and asked to speak with Pam.. I was put right through to Pam’s room. “Hello Pam! This is Patt! You remember we were in the same room at the hospital after we had our babies?” She didn’t say anything, so I thought I’d try another direction. ” we dream walked together, and you attended a luncheon at my house with Judi, Linda and their kids. Remember?”
She didn’t say anything and I was about to give up, when she said, ” Yes! Yes! I remember! You are as crazy as I am.” She started laughing and continued cackling with laughter until she dropped the receiver and someone hung it up. “Oh boy! That was strange. Hmm! Maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned dream walking. Ya think?! I sighed.
“Well, that didn’t go well. She sounds really out of it now. The laughter was crazy.” Linda said, “There doesn’t seem to be anything we can do to help her. So sad. I really liked her.” “So did I, and Heather is losing big-time. Wasn’t Pam breastfeeding her?” This from Judi. “Yes, I wonder how Paul got her to take the bottle.” None of us had a answer for that. We cleaned up in silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
Melissa was happy and babbling to her dad over dinner that evening. Frank was in a good mood. He played with Michael and Melissa for a while. I gave Michael his bath in the sink. Melissa wanted a “bubba bath”. She was singing, “Rubba dub dub three men in a tub” over and over. I got her out and put her to bed still singing.
I fed Michael, and he fell asleep in my arms. I was exhausted. I fell asleep almost immediately. I was dreaming! I was sitting in a comfy chair in my field. I was always happy here, most of the time. I looked up to see Pam striding across the field towards me. She was wearing a white hospital gown. Barefoot, with huge glowing eyes and her hair was blonde, wild swirling around her head. She was smiling. Uh oh!!
“Pam!! What are you doing here in my dream? I didn’t invite you. You should be sleeping and getting better to go home to Heather and Paul.” Pam started to laughing again. She sat down next to me in an armchair that appeared just as she sat down. She looked at me and smiled. I was seeing the face of madness and I would never forget it.
“I will not be with Paul again. He has his whore living there now. My poor little Heather has to watch them fornificating. Yep, that’s what she said, fornificating. Oh boy! “I’m really sorry Pam, but you can’t be here in my dream uninvited.” “Why not? We dream about people all the time. I dream about Paul and his floozie every night.” Floozie?
“Pam, you know that’s different. This is a conscious dream. We are dream walkers, not just dreamers. Come to think about it, you shouldn’t be able to dream walk. Your gifts were removed because you were abusing them.” ” Hah!! I don’t accept the removal of my, so called, gifts.” This was said with a sneer in her voice. “I’m just going to stay here with you. This is all your fault, you know. You and your fancy luncheons. Do the crazy woman a favor. In the hospital, trying to get me lost and leave me. How convenient for Paul.”
Pam looked at me with those crazy eyes and smiled slowly. I have to admit, I was scared. I mean scared out of my drawers scared. Dare I call out loud for help? My mind went over all my options, which were what? “Pam. I don’t know why you are doing this. I really like you and I want to be your friend. Why don’t you go back to bed? I will come and visit you and so will Linda and Judi. We can talk about all the fun stuff we will do when you get home.”
“No, I don’t think so. I really like it here. Where is your white lion? I enjoyed that ride.” “She won’t come now. Look Pam, the trees back there are starting to get blurry. That means my dream is breaking up because it sees you as an intruder.” Pam looked around and then she said, “so what! We will just wake up.” “I don’t really know for sure, but I don’t think it works like that. This is not a normal dream.”
The field was starting to break up into pieces. My chair fell under me and disappeared. Pam’s also. Uh oh! Pam stood up and tried to walk out of the dream, but you can’t do that and it was too late. “Anu! Anu! Help me Anu!” I screamed as loud as I could like my life depended on it, and it was looking like it did.
EARTHQUAKE! Everything was shaking now and breaking up. I tried to back out but, it didn’t work. I felt myself lose my footing. Pam screamed! I was floating in a black void. I started to pray out loud and call Anu alternatively. Oh my babies!! Oh no, was I dead? Where was I? I kept on praying and then I lost consciousness.
The next thing I heard was a growly beautiful voice. ” For goodness sakes, when are you going to stop getting yourself into these situations where I have to get up out of my comfy bed and rescue you! Again!” I put my arms out and felt the soft fur of my wonderful irritable best friend. “Anu! I was so scared! Thank you for rescuing me again! You are the best! Do you see Pam?”
“Pam? No, I’m lucky I found you. You were almost lost forever.” Anu, where was I, it was so dark!” You were in the void, in between.” The next thing I knew I was awake and laying in my bed holding on to Anu’s soft fur. There were tears on my face and she licked them off.
Michael was crying and Melissa was making faces at him through the crib bars. ” I think he hungry mom, and stinky too.” She wrinkled her nose for emphasis. I got up and put my robe on. After I changed Michael and fed him, I made pancakes for Melissa. After all its not every day that I almost got lost in the void. I was so grateful and happy to be home with my family.
I was sitting at the table thinking about Pam. Wondering what happened to her, did she make it out? Tip appeared in front of me. “Aye, is that pancakes I smell?” I smiled at Tip and told him, “yes, banana pancakes and hot coffee too. Help yourself Tip!” I laughed as Tip put a large stack of pancakes on his plate. Melissa finished up, put her dishes in the sink and went skipping off to her room.
Michael was propped in the highchair, and I was feeding him rice cereal with mashed banana. He loved it and gave me a big grin when I put another spoonful up to his mouth. He was a good eater and liked almost everything, except he really, didn’t care for most vegetables. He especially didn’t like strained peas and spit them out. He loved mashed potatoes though. He was almost always cheerful. He didn’t cry a lot. He was a very good baby.
Tip ate his stack of pancakes slathered with butter and syrup and drank his coffee really sweet. I watched in amazement and envy. I was dieting again. Always. Sigh. “Tip, how is Pam? Is she back in the hospital?” Now, it was Tips turn to sigh. “Lassie, Ariel and I both searched the void, the in between, but there was no sign of Pam. Her body is still in bed in hospital, but it’s in a comatose state. No one knows if she will find her way back to her body or not.”
“Do you think her soul is gone, passed over?” ” No, if it was then her body would have ceased functioning.” “Tip, what is the in between, the void? Is it like a purgatory?’ “If you really have to put a name on it, I suppose you could call it that. It’s not punishment. A person who believes in it, and doesn’t think they are really good enough for their idea of heaven can put themselves there.”
“Tip, I never believed in purgatory or Hell, yet, there I was in the void. Pitch dark, and floating not knowing where I was or what I was going to do.” “That’s true Lassie, but you were also praying out loud to be saved, and you were calling for help. Pam accepted being there and until she realizes she’s in a place of her own making that is where she will stay. If her body ceases to function before she realizes this, then she will go to be with the creator.”
“Tip, I am so happy Anu found me and brought me back. Now I just need to know, where do we go from here?” “Lassie, I am very glad you are here because Ariel wants you to rest and enjoy your life.” “I want that too Tip, but trouble seems to have me on speed dial.” We were both laughing.
Trouble, go away! I’m on vacation!
The kitties korner… Hello! I am Tabitha Abigail. Mom calls me Tabby. I picked my own name out when I was a little bitty Tabby. I lived with a man with my sister Mandy. He was mean so we ran away to mom’s door. We picked her out. I’m under the bed. There is a lot of noise outside and lights in the sky. Water mom calls rain is pouring down. It makes me nervous. Mom said it won’t hurt me, but a girl can’t be too careful. I’m going to go sleep in my box, it’s mine even if I have to kick Toby Lee out. Mom said to be nice, but it’s my box. I forgot to mention that I have beautiful sleek black fur, with a few white whiskers. Bye for now.